Desperate Warfare Cards! End of Season 3!

• Blaise McClancy
• January 1, 2025
• Cards
• cards, desperate warfare, Episode 10, season 3
• 0 Comments

The camera comes into focus to show Valora sitting at the desk.  Drumming her fingers on the desk as the introductory music and CWF logo plays.  Finally, we hear from one third of the owners of the CWF herself.

Valora Salinas – Happy fuckin’ Holidays.  Now I had a script where I went on my annual roast of… well a lot of targets, but those fuckin’ spoil sports Ian and Armand have actually used their ownership powers to say ‘Valora, it’s the Holidays, be professional at least once.’  I told them to fuck off.  After intense ‘debate’ and some warnings from the legal department, we compromised.  Enjoy.

Valora shuffles her paperwork and clears her throat.

Valora Salinas – So firstly, we start with the warmup show wherein all the people not good en-

She looks offstage and rolls her eyes.

Valora Salinas – Ahem.  I mean Vanguard: High Stakes, which is coming from the T-Mobile stadium in Las Vegas, Nevada.  Because I guess the casinos were booked or something.

Valora again looks off screen as someone feeds her info.

Valora Salinas – Really?  Afraid of wrestlers getting loose and damaging the casino, and hotel rooms, scaring the guests?  Well.. having seen some of our shows, guess I can’t fault their logic.

CWF Presents: Vanguard: High Stakes (Desperate Warfare Pre-Show) T-Mobile Arena Las Vega, Nevada

Valora Salinas – That’s right, we’re getting right into this shit. First match of Vanguard is going to feature Barney Green and Lady Lana Windsor.  Barney Green is a new wrestler, so this is his chance to show CWF fans what he brings to the table.  As for Lady Lana.  Spirits should be high after she and my daughter, Abigail took their opponents to school and curb stomped the shit out of them.  As to who my bet would be?  No.  Val ain’t putting money on this one.

Valora Salinas – Now.  Moving on, we go to.. Heh.  Right.  Iro Waters takes on Miguel Lanza Jr.  I’ll be nice and say that these two have been struggling as of late.. I could point out that Iro and his partner Steve Murdock almost beat eNVy, but I could say that almost doing something seems to be the story of Iro’s fuckin’ life. I mean, in the case of Iro Waters, his struggles seem to be going at least my entire tenure with the company, but I digress.  This is a chance for him to get untracked and build some momentum going into the next year.

Valora frowns and sighs. 

Valora Salinas –  and then there’s Miguel Lanza Jr.  He’s big.  He’s strong.  He’s got all kinds of potential.  At the moment, however, he is being outpaced by both Abigail Dresden and Tetsuo Oni IV.  Pacific Rim joined the Upstarts and even they are ahead of the game as they are the first ever CWF Tag Champs.  So both fighters in this match need a win.  I have a feeling Miguel will pull this one out though.  I think he’s the better talent.  Valora’s Bet.  Miguel Lanza Jr.

Valora thinks for a moment.  But  then nods and proceeds on as the graphic switches to showcase the next match on the card

Valora Salinas – Next up on the card, my old hermana, Apathy is going to step back into the ring.  Some pendejos out there might think that since Apathy has had some injury struggles that this is a waste of a match and Apathy is going to continue to struggle.  Some people are really fuckin’ stupid.  This chica, like me, has held gold in every damn fed she’s been in and I’m sure she will add CWF to that list at some point.  This is also a woman who was once my tag team partner.  Feel sorry for the poor fuckers lined up against us.  Anyway, one more very important thing about Apathy.  We got along because we have similar outlooks.  We don’t let too many people get close.  But the lucky few who do.  Get everything that comes with that.  Gabriel Tuck injured Apathy’s husband.  So when she came to me with a clean bill of health and told me she wanted a chance to get her hands on him…

Valora smirks and shrugs.

Valora Salinas – I mean, there’s no way I’m going to deny my hermana a chance to curb stomp someone who fucked with her family so.. Now, people might be wondering that since I booked this match, does that mean I’m biased?

Valora hesitates here a bit and shrugs, taking a drink from her tequila

Valora Salinas – Let’s break this down.  Gabriel Tuck has skill.  He can get things done in the ring, but Apathy has been all over.  She has experience and she has a very personal fucking reason to get in the ring and fuck up a pendejo who took her husband out so.. 

Valora points and the ‘Valora’s Bet graphic pops up.

Valora Salinas – My bet is on Apathy.  Yes I might be biased, but I’m also not going to bet against my hermana.  Apathy is a Veteran.  She’s been in pay per views before.  She knows how to step it up and the glitz and glamour, the lights of Vegas won’t phase her.  I don’t think Gabriel Tuck has ever been in the kind of big time match he’s got into.  Fighting in Vegas is a whole different animal.  I know Apathy can handle it.  Whether Gabriel Tuck can?  Remains to be seen.

After another shuffling of her papers, Valora looks up to the camera

Valora Salinas – So now we come to our first tag team match of the night.  The Twins vs. eNVy.  

Valora pauses and looks off to the side.

Valora Salinas – It’s this match right here, isn’t it?  This is why the casinos wouldn’t host our show?  Fuckin’ Armand and his god damn clowns.

Valora clears her throat and turns her attention back to the camera.  

Valora Salinas – So yeah.  Demonic Clowns from another dimension because Armand saw Killer Klowns from Outer space and thought that was a good idea for his minions… taking on eNVy, made up of Karlie Nash and Vespertine.  How these two get along is beyond me.  But they seem to have their shit together in the ring.  You saw proof positive of that on Warzone in a great match up against the team of Iro Waters and Steve Murdock.Now, since their opponents are being talked about as a single useless entity.  I’ll group eNVy together as a single, skilled entity.  My bet is on eNVy.  That’s Valora’s Bet.  Book it.

Valora clears her throat and continues

Valora Salinas – Right then, moving right along.  We have another tag team match.  Padre Nate and Eron Hunter taking on Viktor Kriegson and Samael Drago.  Now, Padre Nate and I go back a long ways.. Both of us started at the same fed based in Cleveland.  So when I say Padre Nate is as tough as they come, I know what I’m fuckin’ talkin’ about.  I think he and Eron Hunter stunned a lot of people by beating the Bastards but I’m not surprised at all.  Eron Hunter and Padre Nate are both fairly straightforward, whatcha see is whatcha get, type people.  Eron has talked about street fighting as a youth.  Nathan was a boxer and before deciding to do his best Nicholas D. Wolfwood impression, if you know kids, you know, he was no stranger to the bar room brawl.  So I’m not surprised these two gave the Bastards a run for their money and taught them a lesson.  Samael Drago and Viktor Kriegson could, like Nate and Eron, also make a surprisingly solid team.  Time would tell.  Still, I can’t bet against Nate and Eron, so that’s my bet.  

After the graphic from the previous match fades.  Valora cracks her neck and proceeds.

Valora Salinas – And that brings us to the main event.  A six man tag which features shit heel Morgan Decker, Samuel Madison and Maxwell Drake taking on the team of Zolothach, Kat Hale and Tetsu Oni IV.  As an added crux, whoever pins from Kat Hale comes away with the Valor Title.  So Kat Hale is likely going to have a bullseye on her back.  Still.  There’s too much talent on this side.  Morgan Decker is an agent and they are the literal definition of ‘all talk’  The two chuckleheads he got to team with him also don’t stack up against what’s across the ring from them.  Zolothach has been off to a solid start.  Kat Hale is the Valor Champion and the Tempest Champion.  Tetsuo Oni IV is.. Well first off, she was good enough to be given the mantle of Tetsuo Oni.  Then she added a 4 Winds title.  That’s just too much talent on one team if you ask me.  Valora’s bet:  All in on the ass kicking chica brigade

CWF Presents: Desperate Warfare Allegiant Stadium Las Vegas, Nevada

The background graphic changes to show the Desperate Warfare Logo and the Stadium

Valora Salinas – Alright.  That brings us to the actual pay per view.  Desperate Warfare coming to you live from Allegiant Stadium in Vegas.  Our opening match for the show will feature Matthew Clarke as he takes on Greg Salazar.  Now Matthew Clarke is a newer talent so again, we’re giving new additions a chance to really show what they can do.  He looks like he might be a solid addition to the roster.  Unfortunately for him, he is facing off against a member of Bad Company, one of the founding 3 members, actually.  He’s also a former CWF Conquest champion, formerly Tetsu Oni III and a bad ass hombre who gave me the toughest battle I’ve had in quite some time when he tried to take my Elite title from me.  Former Marine, and fellow native of SoCal.  Greg Salazar.  If you can’t tell who my bet is from the intros.. Well you might want to remember to get on the short bus to school.  My bet here is that this should be a solid win for Greg Salazar and he’ll likely manage to get the crowd ready.

The graphic from the first match changes and the next one comes up as Valora looks at her papers.

Valora Salinas – That brings us to the belt that I relinquished when I took my ownership spot.  The Elite Title.  Now I was worried about the future of this title.. But I have to say.  Madd Morales.  Steve Murdock, and the current Champ, Kara Reinhardt are among a talented group that have taken this title and run with it.  Steve Murdock challenges Kara Reinhardt for the Elite Title.  Originally, I had pushed for this match to be a brawl throughout a casino or something, but someone’s penchant for demonic clowns that come very close to ripping off a B horror movie from the 80’s made that impossible.  So, we’re going to do this…

A new graphic comes up where a giant die rolls, instead of numbers, different match stips are listed.  Valora makes the motion of pressing a button and ‘Falls Count Anywhere’ comes up.  Valora rolls her eyes.

Valora Salinas – Fuckin’ lame.  I’m adding no DQ.  Given the two involved this should be interesting.  Steve Murdock started off on my bad side by using the same nickname I do, but we settled that by beating each other bloody in a parking lot brawl.  Respect.  I’m not upset with him and I both using the same nickname.  We’ve both earned it.

Valora looks to her right side.

Valora Salinas – On the other hand, we have the defending champ, Kara Reinhardt, won the belt by fighting a legit war against the nKo.  She’s hitting her stride and she will not easily relinquish that title.  My bet:  Kara Reinhardt.

The graphic changes to highlight the next match as she moves through the card.

Valora Salinas – And the stakes only increase from there, fans.  Our next match is for the 4 Winds Legion title.  The Upstarts first won this belt but lost it to the Bastards.  This match will see team nKo, represented by the Homixide Gang and Trelisa Perault taking the Bastards taking on a DPW team to be determined and a FWA team to be determined.

My bet?  The Bastards.  My man, Rob Riot is simply the best full time active fighter in the CWF.  Period.  Say what you want about his partners, and one of them I could definitely go into, but both Eddie Williams and Frank Windsor know how to win and the Bastards are one of the most cohesive teams I’ve seen.  When you put them in a match, they are all on the same page.  That’s hard to overcome.  The Upstarts only barely did it to claim the title the first time and promptly lost it to the Bastards in their first defense.

The graphic changes once more, this time showing 4 Winds, Championship.

Valora Salinas – Now, the first of what is essentially a double main event.  The 4 Winds Championship.  The returning D takes on Rob Riot.  This match promises to be a definite match of the night contender.  My bet?  Call me biased but, he’s also one of the best fighters to ever step in a ring.  Rob Riot.

The graphic changes to show ‘CWF Championship’ as Valora clears her throat.

Valora Salinas – Main Event time and we have a representative of the Upstarts, the Bastards and Bad Company.  The stakes for this match could not be higher and this triple threat is under elimination rules, meaning 3 fighters will enter, only 1 will be left standing.  Eddie Willaims, Abigail Dresden, and Kronin Reinhardt.  Let’s break this down from the top.  Kronin is another man who started in the same fed Padre Nate and I did.  Kronin is a prime time player and, at his best, is one of the best technical wrestlers in the game.  He’ll be coming into this looking to retain his belt and extend his historic streak as CWF Champ.  Then we have my daughter.  Abigail Dresden.  This kid has a chance to ring in her first show after turning 18 by becoming a world champ.  Normally, I’d say the pressure is on, but Abby knows how to step up and bring it and she wants that belt.

Valora pauses to take a breath and then resumes.

Valora Salinas – Which brings me to Eddie Williams.  The second of the title challengers.  He was savvy enough to position himself in the title picture and he has the chance to walk out of Desperate Warfare bragging that he beat Kronin and Abigail in the same match.  All three fighters have a potentially once in a lifetime chance to write their name in lights and celebrate on the Vegas Strip.  So, my pick?  Tough call. Again, call me bias, but like all the other picks, I am putting my ability to predict a match and putting money on the line as well so.. Here’s hoping I’m not wasting both.  Abigail.  She’s been on a tear as of late and it’s going to be hard for Kronin and Eddie to keep her in check, I think.